Bertha Keffer 
Vassar College 
Po'Keepsie 
New York 


"The Japanese Princesses 

Sailing out from the Eastern Seas 
There came to our shores five Japanese 

In the quiet gloom of the evening late 
They rapped with their chopsticks on the gate 

The sound to the Faculty's office went 
And down stepped our gracious President 

'Oh Eastern maidens I hear you're come 
To enjoy the Vassar curriculum. 

I bid you welcome and promise fair 
All the mental culture we have to spare.' 

They rolled their languishing almond eyes, 
And pensively gazed on the fading skies. 

Then shaking gently each tawny head 
'Me speakee no English, sir,' they said. 

Then briskly from out the wing of the north 
A staid Professor sallied forth. 

Who muttered on seeing each silent Jap, 
'Ha, caught at last in basaltic trap.' 


But aloud, 'Dear ladies it doth me please 
To see your faces, bright manganese.' 

'And I join with those who would fain invite 
You to stay your mental appetite, 

And hope that happy will be your state 
Beneath our roof of Talcose slate.' 

But of no avail was the welcome neat 
'Me talkee no English' did they repeat. 

Then gracefully elbowing through the hall 
Came stalking another Professor tall, 

Who tossed from his brow one lock of gold 
And bowed with the grace we know of old. 

Most charming ladies, the world shall see 
What a kind protector you'll have in me. 

I'll be a father, brother, friend 
A grandfather even if you recommend, 

And I'll amble with you, since you can't go quick 
Through the thorny mazes of Rhetoric. 

While swiftly too, yet I'm not sure, 


We'll gather the flowers of Literature. 

This speech, perspicuous and clear, 
These senseless maidens seemed not to hear 

The pointed thesis of Bachus' wit 
Seemed unable their mind to fit. 

And, as he absently smiled and sighed, 
'Me talkee no English,' they all replied. 

Then forth from the southern wing there came 
Another Professor of equal fame. 

His look was gentle, his manner bland, 
And he swung a cane from his well gloved hand 

His coming was told by a growl and a bark 
And "c... c..." was his remark. 

Then up to the maidens they saw him go 
And heard him murmur, 'du, de, dum, do' 

He bowed before them on bended knees 
Exclaiming 'Salve, O Japanese.' 

But as the ladies declined to speak, 
He had recourse to 'original Greek.' 


And said in a voice both soft and low 
'Oh! Erin ... agape.' 

But still the damsels echoed the cry 
'No talkee English,' was their reply. 

And then there came through the crowded hall 
A last Professor serene and tall. 

He stepped before them and grandly said 
As he gazed on the queues which adorned their heads 

'Were you once hung by that braided queue 
What a pendulum I could make of you 

It would only disclose the method of tanning 
What a new discovery to make in Japanning. 

And from your eyes we might get a notion 
Of the origin of rotary motion. 

And from your nation's old mystic lore 
Might learn what we never learned before 

Why circles are round and roots are square 
And how when angry you tear your hair 

They are remained like fishes, dumb, 


'Me no talkee English' did answer come. 

At last the President forward came 
'I'll take you in, in our Matthew's name, 

And give you the best we can afford 
Of care and attention and bed and board.' 

He led them up through the wondering crowd 
With a footstep firm and an aspect proud 

He gave them each a parlor alone 
Leaving twenty eight "preps" without a home 

And waving his hand in fond farewell 
Went down the wonderful news to tell. 

And all night long did the roaring breeze 
Repeat the names of those Japanese. 

Ah, sad it is to publish abroad 
A deep dyed story of woman's fraud. 

And deep it cuts to my very core 
To add to the record one tale more. 

The morning dawned as morning will 
And sprinkled her flower o'er wood and hill 


And early on sleeping ears there fell 
The dulcet tones of the rising bell. 

But not to the cheerful breakfast hall 
Appeared these maidens at the signal's call 

And even the loud, full stroke of nine 
Of these ladies' faces brought no sign 

And when we knocked at their parlor door 
A silence answered, nothing more. 

The rooms were empty and dark and lone 
The cage was open--the birds had flown 

And with them--Oh horrors manifold. 
The Presidents watch of purest gold 

Our Professor's young heart with despair was sick 
To miss his gold headed walking stick 

Of another loss there were some reports 
A chrystal charm of purest quartz 

While another's blood in his veins did curl 
As he missed his studs of purest pearl 

And he lifted his voice and said in woe 


That ever a woman should treat me so." 

Moral. 
A moral is always sure to please 
This is Beware of Japanese 

And if ever you see some fair "Nancy Choo 
Or a gentle Sousee smiling at you 

Be not beguiled by those almond eyes 

And say as you bow her from the door 
"No, no, fair Jap, I've been there before," 

And I've learned a lesson from maidens like thee 
And I fear the pensive young Japanee."

 M. Townsend 

"Sixty Minutes Every Day." 

The shades of night were falling fast 
As round the College quickly passed 
A girl who plod her weary way 
Because she'd heard the President say;"
Sixty minutes every day." 

Her brow was sad, her eyes below 
Were red and swollen as with woe 
But in her ear still sadly rung 
The accents of that awful tongue 
"Sixty minutes every day." 

From the windows gleamed the light 
Of the cosy rooms all warm and bright 
She thought it very hard to bear 
That she must be in the open air 
"Sixty minutes every day." 

"Come in," her roommate called, "and rest 
Thy weary head upon this breast." 
A tear stood in her mild blue eye 
But still she answered with a sigh, 
"Sixty minutes every day." 


The thought of the warning oft repeated 
When in chapel all were seated 
Of men with dogs who prowing round 
Were very likely to be found 
In her "Sixty minutes every day." 

So thinking, trembling as she went, 
Till all her vital force was spent 
And chilled "by evening damp and dew 
She fell, still faintly moaning too 
"Sixty minutes every day." 

She by Thomas in his rounds 
Half-buried in the snow was found 
And as he took her in his grasp 
She raised her head and gave a gasp 
"Sixty minutes every day." 

There in the twilight cold and gray 
Lifeless yet beautiful she lay 
She died a martyr to her cause 
Trying to keep those awful laws 
"Sixty minutes every day." 


Extract from the Class History of '75. 
Written by ... ... 
Preface 
Whether our work with commendation will meet 
If we our class History should repeat 
We are not very certain. 
Nor if we were would we dare to say 
Since Livy tells us t'was not the way 
With the best of ancient writers 
And if our fame should seem obscured 
By greater workers, t'will be endured 
By the thought of another's greatness. 
Let each one follow in thought, I say, 
How the health of the girls at length gave way 
And finally came down headlong. 
After the manner of ancient men 
We call on the gods and goddesses then 
to aid in our undertaking. 


History. 
In the Freshman class of '75, 
Of which but four are now alive, 
To tell the mournful story, 
Were girls who worked & strove in vain 
A single word of praise to gain 
From the classic llips of Hinkel; 
For he said, "Ill tell you in kindness 
of heart 
That common ability forms no part 
Of your natural constitution. 
T'is not of this only I complain, 
For I've talked & talked & talked in vain, 
You do not seem to heed me. 
In my leetle dog's tail there is, alas 
More activity than in the Freshman class, 
For it never knows cessation. 
I greatly fear you will not pass 
You are not fit for the Sophomore Class 
You never do remember. 
I think I will now new measures take 
A Special Prep class soon to make 
For the benefit of the Freshmen. 
You never know your "..." well. 
I vow this class is one big sell! 
... quick! does no one speak? 


It might as well be so much Greek 
For all you know about it. 
Asyndeton & quippe qui are not quite plain 
I'm sad to see, to your muddled brain 
Chrismus next, does no one know? 
What! not one on the second row? 
I will not have this trifling. 
Also the scheme of part & whole 
From your tongues must glibly roll. 
Why don't you study harder? 
Why don't you ask me what may be 
The privilege of a Vestal V.? 
Have you no interest in it?" 
Com... would excite him so 
That when the bell rang none dared go 
Till the last note was taken. 
These words & those of similar kind 
Had an evil effect on the student's mind 
And one that was most unlooked for. 
"Namely," the students sat up late at night 
And copied Livy from pure fright 
That the Prep Class would receive them 
And now comes our tale to the saddest part 
And one that will serve to rend the heart 
Of each attentive reader. 
The girls grew sick, one after the other 
From an unknown cause which none 
could discover 


Not even the sage professor. 
And he said as one by one they died 
And in their coffins lay side by side, 
"We had better have a post mortem." 
The sorrowing class-mates knew, alas: 
What caused the death of the Freshman class, 
And this tale will solve the riddle." 
Foster & Dyckman. 


Ode, Class '76 

Ring out, o '76 your song 
To Vassar's name a tribute bring 
We hail her now, we'll love her long 
As time flies by with rapid wing 
We leave with her hearts warm & true 
And now before we say adieu 
We pledge our faith to her & 76 

With kindly greetings from the shore 
We launch our boats on lifes broad stream 
They're warmed from Vassar's bounteous store 
Their swelling sails in sunlight gleam 
With truth & courage at the helm 
We'll brave the storms, enjoy the calm 
And loyal hearts we'll keep for '76 

Our aim & purpose for the right 
Our strength in honor truth & love 
Our watchword wisdom's power & might 
Our trust in him who reigns above 
We'll true to Vassar's teachings live, 
We'll honor to her ever give 
And to our own loved class of '76 


Class Song - '76 

Sing cheerily o '76 
A merry gladsome song 
In honor of our college home 
And all its happy throng 
May Vassar's glory never fade 
Never, never, never, 
But brighter grow through coming years, 
A beacon light forever. 

What mem'ries fond will cluster round 
Our loved cent'l class 
One mind, one love has been our bond 
As the bright years have passed 
And now at last the goal is won 
The end is just in view 
And Vassar's portals open wide 
On vistas strange & new. 

Ring summer bells your merriest chime 
And banish care & fear 
Let class day be a happy time 
Though partings are so near 
Let music in the twilight hour 
Around us weave a spell 
That shall our hearts with gladness fill 
And every grief Dispel. 


Class Song - 76 - Lorelei 

Our College Days are over 
our course is almost run 
The time has come to sever 
The bond that made us one 
O sad sad hour of parting 
From friends so tried & true 
O sad sad hour for saying 
That mournful word, adieu 

Behind us stretch our well known 
And happy College Days 
Before us lies the wide world 
With all its untried ways 
O many a time in after years 
For auld lang syne we'll sigh 
And mem'ry will but brighter grow 
As the long years pass by. 

Yet as Deep joy lies close to pain 
This parting ne'er to meet 
Brings out a depth of earnest love 
That makes our sorrow sweet. 
Farewell our Alma Mater 
Loved more than we can tell 
And happy happy bygone Days 
Farewell, a long farewell. 


Class Song - Cheer Boys Cheer 

We are gathered round our Alma Mater 
See her children come from far & near 
Some are still beneath her kind protection 
Some with joy return to greet her here 
O Alma Mater, great the debt we owe thee 
We are trained for entering life by thee 
May the seed which thou has sown among us 
In coming years, a golden harvest bee.[sic] 
Chorus 
Alma Mater though from thee we're severed 
We remain forever leal & true 
Thou hast been to all an inspiration 
May we bring to thee some honor new. 
II 
As from darkness comes the slow faint dawning 
And from dawning comes the perfect day 
As in ages past arose the bright earth 
Where alone the waste of sea had sway 
So may Vassar's glory grow forever 
May her work bring light throughout the land 
As the pioneer alone she waited 
May she ever amidst the foremost stand 
Chorus --



"Miss Nellie Bates stood at the gates 
of Heaven a sighing 
The door was locked, perfectly blocked 
She put herself to crying 
She couldn't get in, for the only sin, 
of asking for this picture. 
Said Prof. d'Armand "C'est une bonne enfant" 
She is a lovely creature. 

A good thing it was he sat on the grass 
Inside of Heaven's door. 
For I am afraid that the little maid 
Would have remained before. 
So she came in, the happy thing, 
And for the angels ran 
She hopped & sprang & danced & sang 
Smiling at Profess d'Armand" 


Books read - Kalamazoo '76 & '77 
"Helen's Babies" 
Thinks-I-to-Myself ...-1871 
Waverley 
... Mannering 
Romance of Spanish History - Abbott 
Coleridge's Poems 
Vanity Fair 
The Gods & Other Lectures Ingersoll 
The Tent on the Beach 
Graziella - par A. De Lamartine. 
Charles V (3 vols.) Robertson 
Last Days of Pompeii - Bulwer