Vassar College Digital Library

Houts, Annie | to John Houts, Apr. 1869:

VC 1869
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vassar:24405,,Box 70,VCL_Letters_Houts_Annie_1869_026
April 18, 1869
1 item
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: VCLLettersHoutsAnnie1869026001
Vassar College. April 18,/69.
My dear Brother,
Your kind letter of April 12th came duly, and was
most heartily welcome. I have been waiting anxiously to hear from yourself and Carlos, about my coming back. The considerations which you brought to bear on the subject are much the same as those that had influenced me, and I think I was coming to the same conclusion that you did. I shall wait, however, to hear from Carlos before I finally decide. I know I have spent a considerable part of my life in this kind of living and do not think a much longer part thus spent would be best for me. I too have had visions such as you speak of, of such a home as you describe. The thought of spending another year so far away from you and George Is not easy to bear. But If I do not come back here, I hardly know what I should do with myself. Although I should enjoy visiting &c, in the summer, I doubt not


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by the time Fall came, I should want to be at some steady, systematic work.
While I am far from thinking this the only kind it seems at present the only
kind open to me. There certainly Is no place where teaching would be as
pleasant and agreeable to me, or where one has more advaatages than here.
I some-times am afraid it would be too pleasant. This making up of one's
mind is quite a difficult matter; If I could only know what was best for me to
do. I hope I will decide aright. I will do the best I can, anyway, and "angels
can do no more." I am much obliged for your suggestions. Thoughts some-
what similar to those have been in my own mind, and I think I shall get them
into shape before long. There is no thought in which the duality of truth
is more striking than this one. We are each independent Ik yet each
dependent upon every-thing around us. No soul can be alone and yet each
sould Is entirely alone in the presence of Its God.
That feeling comes over me some-times with a solemnity and awe
indescribable. That our "Holy of Holies" is veiled to every eye but


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God's; that there must come a time when friends, earthly friends can not aid, when our soul must be launched alone into eternity. Who can tell what awaits us? Only Christ can stay the soul in that awful hour. We are enjoying the loveliest Spring weather now. I took quite a long stroll this morning, and enjoyed It immensely, I can assure you. We are having a few days rest from College duties, and several of the students, my room-mate among the number, have gone home. College duties are to be resumed Tuesday morning. If it is pleasant tomorrow morning I think I shall take a horseback ride. I have been out twice this Spring. The time will pass very quickly now until Commencement. I hope your business will be so that you can come. The seniors have vacation from the first of June, to get well rested and prepared for Commencement. I shall probably spend most of the time here, although I may visit my friend Susie Wright, in Newburgh, think most probably I will. I have not heard from Carlos for a


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week or two, but hope to do so early this week. Last Thursday night we had a wonderful display of Northern Lights. The sky was radiant with rose, purple and greens and the flashes and pulsations of light were magnificent, I never saw any-thlng like it. We have had no Bible class today, and no chapel, and it seems really quite delightful to have the whole day to ours self. I am going to read one of Robertson's sermons this afternoon. They are excellent. Write to me soon again, my brother. I am always so glad to hear from you. I thank you for your advice and the trouble and thought you took to ask the advice of others, whom you trusted as sound in Judgment and interested in me. I cannot say yet what I will do- But I see I have swung round the circle and got back to where I started from and so conclude it is about time to stop. God bless & keep you is the loving prayer of your sister Annie.
(Annie (Glidden) Houts, '69,