V.C. Dec. 13, 1868.
Dear John,
It is almost bed-time but I must give you a few words
before I shut my eyes. Since writing to you I have heard from Carlos, and,
as he may probably have told you, he does not think it best that I should
allow you to use my property, to cancel your debts. I am sure I am quite
at a loss to know what to do. 1 want to do what is best aad just and for your
own and my own good. I must speak plainly, John. The fact of your having
a plenty to supply your wants has been not a blessing, or at least, if a
blessing, has been bent from its purpose, so as to have the influence of a
curse upon you. With ability, with a good education, you have let many
years of your life go by without improving, merely because you were not
spurred on to it, by the pressing wants of present need. As the human soul
from its constitution must go down or up, can not remain stationary, you,
in not striving to advance, degenerated. Forgive me, dear brother, but I
am not sure but it is the best thing for you now to have to struggle against
mighty obstacles, to put forth all the energies of your being, and call to your
aid the help of our Heavenly Father to enable you to rise supreme above the
difficulties that beset your path. Let this determination come into the
minutest affairs of your every day life. Even to the matter of paying your
debts; I know not, indeed it is quite a question now with me, the more I think
of it, whether I would do the right thing by you even, to thus sacrifice my
property. 1 would not be selfish, would not withhold it could I be sure it was
Sept. 22, 1869 - 2
best. I can not tell what is in the future, what may befall me, and I do not
think the property that was earned by the hard labor of my father should be
let slip, unless I was perfectly convinced it were right. Furthermore, why,
if I have $ 50,000. more or less in the estate, need those lots be sold that
are set apart? I really think, John, if you will forgive me for saying so,
that what is most lacking in your character. Is a spirit of self-denial, and a
determination which will lead you to carry out your good resolutions. I
honestly believe that you will come forth from this trial* a stronger and
better man, a more noble, self-reliant character, if you stem the surges,
and gain the shore, unaided. Yet, Heaven forbid that I should deay the life-
boat* if its aid is necessary to uphold your uncertain, failing limbs. Can
you not see and comprehend my difficulty. You will not doubt my sincerity
and my love for you, & my intention to aid you, will you?
The ffcct is, I do not think I ought to decide such a question one way
or the other* without a more perfect understanding of the business of the
estate* than I now have. In truth, my knowledge of the business is simply,
none at all* and I can not intelligently decide aay question with regard to the
property unless I do know and understand the situatioa of the money belong-
ing to the estate, how it Is invested, the value of the investments &c, fee.
Carlos thinks it will be very foolish for me to come home, this
winter, and were it not a very special occasioa, I should think so, too, for it
is a long, tiresome Journey and* to tell the truth, I caa not bear fatigue as
Dec. 13, 1868 - 3
well as X could last summer, or at any time before my sickness. X hare
thought the journey might be broken by stopping at Pittsburgh a few days,
then, if you meet me there, go on home, come back to Pittsburg in time to
rest a few days on the way back fc thus break the journey. College closes
one week from next Tuesday. X may have reason to change my plans, but
I now think X shall leave here the same day, Ik reach Pittsburgh the next
morning. I shall have company. Then if you could come on, and meet me
there, fc we leave Pittsburgh so as to get home the last of the week, fc then
return to Pittsburgh the last of the next week, fc be ready to come on here
the following Tuesday- I will, of course, stop at Alice Hurd Riggs's house,
No. 63, Montgomery Avenue, Allegheny City, aad if you can not come on for
me, shall probably spend my vacation there. I do not want to have any-thing
happen to prevent my return. X believe it would almost break my heart to
have to leave the College now, without completing this year, but I am anxious
to see you, and will come home if you will meet me in Pittsburgh. I will
write you again, before vacation. If X have said aught unjust or unkind, for-
give it and believe me, I said it all, only because I felt It was right fc for
your own good. May God in Heaven bless fc keep you, is the prayer of
Your own Sister,
Annie.
(Annie (Glidden) Houts, '69,